“If you are all wrapped up in yourself you are overdressed.” ~ Kate Halverson
Mmmmm, Ego. We don’t really talk about it do we? Now when I talk about ego, I’m talking about the lower self, the jealous one, the selfish one, the righteous one etc. It’s not you. You get that don’t you? It’s not you! It’s just a part of you, but it’s not who you are.
Who you are is so much bigger than that, so much more than that.
The thing is, if you are living in your ego, life is bad! Sorry, but it is! But hey that’s just my opinion – let’s look at how you know ego is the driving force in your life:
1. You always compare yourself to others.
The ego loves doing this! The ego thinks you are in competition with everyone else on the planet. It thinks as long as you are doing ‘better’ than someone else, then you must be doing ok. You might want to be prettier, thinner, smarter, richer, or more successful… you might want a better car, float, horse, house. But you get that no matter what… someone else will have something you don’t, and you will never be satisfied, no matter how much you have, or how good you look.
2. You frequently judge or criticize others
OK – so we all know we shouldn’t… and we all know we do. It is human nature to judge and criticize, but you don’t need to voice it, or give it power. The ego likes to criticize so it can demonstrate that it knows more. It also likes to put others down, so it can be elevated – but in reality all it is trying to do, is cover up for a lack of self-esteem.
3. You are concerned with status.
The ego wants to know your place in this world. It cares if someone gets promoted over you, if you should be called Dr, or CEO… it also likes the material possessions to prove you deserve your social status of middle or upper class. Again, titles and status mean nothing to your true self, and to others living in their true selves.
4. You like to argue that you are right and others are wrong
Why?… I like to do this with my husband! I especially like it if he doesn’t agree… I just keep going and going, with more arguments to support my case… Funny thing is, by the end do you even know what you are arguing about?
A wonderful story about this is there is a couple in a restaurant. The man says – what do you think is in this steak sauce, is it pepper? The wife says she thinks it is mustard seeds. They argue over the taste, appearance, shape of the black things in the sauce… finally the man asks the waiter over and asks him. The waiter asks the chef, and it is indeed pepper. The man is triumphant! I TOLD you it was pepper. So he ‘wins’… or does he? The woman doesn’t talk to him for the rest of the evening and let’s just say he doesn’t get ‘lucky’ that night either! So remember – next time you are arguing over something. The fact is do you want to be loved, or do you want to be right? Because you can rarely be both.
5. You are obsessed with your appearance
Are you who you look like? Should you be loved or hated, based on how many wrinkles you have, what size clothes you are, or what fashions you are wearing? It is fine to take pride in your appearance. You should make an effort to be clean and well groomed. But to obsess over being a size 8 not a 10, or thinking about botox… and you are sill in your 20’s! Well, that’s your ego saying no one will love me for me, so maybe they can love me for how I look. The problem is – when your looks fade you will worry so will the love. Who wants to be loved for only what they look like? I love hanging out in my faded trackies with my husband or best friend! They love me unconditionally for exactly who I am – my true self – not what I look like.
6. You live only in the future or in the past
The ego loves this! It’s the thing that makes you relive the past again and again and again! All your mistakes, all your missed chances, all the negative stuff – it just replays and replays. Even though there is nothing you can do about it now. Then it puts you out into the future, and tells you all the bad stuff that ‘could’ happen, that might happen, so you can worry about it, and stress about it – even though none of it has even happened yet, and most likely won’t.
So if we are not going to live in our ego, where are we going to live? The higher self is felt most when you are in the present moment. There is nothing better than focusing on the present, no past, no future – just what is happening, and what you are experiencing RIGHT NOW.
We talk about the ego in my Dream Team program but we have another name for it! But you learn it’s not about denying that you have an ego! We all have an ego, and it is constantly talking its crap to us. The important thing is – not to indulge it. Think of it as a small child, it is un-evolved, it doesn’t know any better, but you do, and you don’t need to listen to it. It never speaks the truth anyway.
I would love to hear how you have gone ‘taming’ your ego, and gone on to living a more fulfilled and enjoyable life as well as getting better results in your riding!